It's important to recognize the teachable moments that occur every day. I really do try to incorporate this type of unscheduled learning into our daily lives with the peapod squad.
For example, do you see what a brilliant job I've done teaching my daughter the importance of things such as multitasking, communication, and nutrition?
Go ahead. Be in awe.
It's not a fun time around here right now. We've got strep and a hideous stomach virus running amok in our house.
I've slept on an air mattress in their bedroom floor for the last 2 nights. This morning, though, all three of them completely took over my little floor cot. One-by-one, they joined me on the aero bed. Once the third was there, I had been relegated to a cold, hard spot on the wood floor. And they looked like a little snuggly litter of puppies.
I just wish I could make these cuties feel better.
It seems the popular thing these days is to blast the Gosselins. To blast Kate for being the mean wife with the hideous hairdo (ok, so the hairdo really is bad). To blast Jon for being the cheating husband. To blast the two of them for having misplaced priorities. And oddly enough, parents of multiples seem to be especially critical. I've been trying to figure that out.
Maybe it's because, if we're all really honest with ourselves, we'd admit that we've at times been a tiny bit jealous of the fame and fortune that came to the Gosselins. We've grown weary of being compared to them. We're sick of having every person who sees us out with our own multiples ask us if we "know" them. Some of us remember our own forum and email interactions with Jon back before their lives changed so much and felt somewhat abandoned by him when they became too busy to lend friendly support to the rest of us anymore. We've watched those children grow up with our own. We've uncomfortably seen our own marriages in theirs. And now...well...we're pretty nervous about what their struggles predict for us.
I recently received an email (that I'm sure went to other triplet families as well) letting me know about "an exciting opportunity" for triplet families to be on a new reality TV show. I quickly hit DELETE. Would it be cool to have a few moments of fame? Well, sure. And the money would be fantastic. But at what cost? I'll take obscurity and middle class angst over a family in ruins any day.
It's hard to keep boundaries in place. Even without the celebrity component, having high order multiples brings additional attention. People are understandably curious about us when we take the kids out and about. Since the very first time we ventured out with them, we've felt a bit like a carnival attraction. We get stopped for questions and comments almost every time we go out. We've been asked incredibly personal questions...about their conception, about my pregnancy, about their birth, about our financial situation. Perfect strangers have asked to touch or hold or photograph our children. It's flattering at times, but it's also very intrusive. We've heard everything from "Oh how blessed!" to "See? You play with fire and you get burned!" to "I would kill myself if I got stuck with triplets!" And the rude comments are difficult to shake...no matter how thick-skinned we try to be.
I often feel like we are a burden. Even at church, I've heard people say things like "We already had 15 kids in that class and then the triplets came in!" I know these folks love our children, but yes...when we arrive it's an additional 3 kids added to the mix. And while I know my parents absolutely adore our kids, I still feel horrible every time I have to leave them there for an extended period of time. I know. I really do. It's COMPLETELY exhausting to juggle 3 same-aged kids. Because of this, hubby and I don't get away much. We spend precious little time alone together. So yeah...I can see why the divorce rate for parents of multiples is reportedly 3 times higher than that of the general population. It's terrifying to see what's obviously happening to Jon and Kate because somewhere in the back of my mind I keep saying, "Will we end up like that?"
Am I sometimes mean to my husband? Yes. Am I a control freak? Absolutely. I'll not even try to deny it. In the moments of just trying to survive or to just get somewhere on time, I usually know the most efficient way to get something done and I don't often have the additional seconds/minutes required to sugarcoat my requests with lots of niceties. To an outsider, it would sound like I was barking orders. If cameras were following us all day and then that footage was being edited down to 30-minute episodes, we could look just as unloving as Jon and Kate sometimes do. But it would not be an accurate image of our relationship.
I feel horrible for them. It was painful to watch last night's episode on TLC. Jon seemed like he has already checked out (and he has obviously made some very irresponsible choices). Kate appeared to be so sad. Hearing Alexis tell her daddy that she misses him and hopes he does't leave again was heartbreaking. Those kids just watched their parents renew their wedding vows, for goodness' sake! They heard them say they were in this together forever. And now this. One day they are going to google their last name and read all kinds of hurtful things about their parents.
And the bottom line? All of the free vacations, huge houses, nice clothes and extravagent parties in the world won't heal that hurt.
Like I said, I'll take my obscurity. Definitely.
For the record, nothing makes me feel less religious than having my doorbell ringing during the peapod squad's naptime. Especially when I have even gone so far as to put a note on the door saying, "Please do not ring doorbell."
And please...once you've disturbed me and I kindly explain that I already love Jesus (very much, in fact), do not keep talking as if you didn't hear a word I said. A simple "God bless you" will suffice. Then move along to the next unsuspecting heathen.
Peace,
Monica
It's been a week. A long one. With lots of stress. Tonight I'm enjoying the quiet opportunity (everyone else is asleep here) to catch up on TV shows from earlier in the week and to write some articles for Blissfully Domestic.
But alas...I feel bad for the folks who keep checking in here expecting to see something besides my goofy vlog about our swimming pool veggies. So, here are some super cute pictures of puppies. Everyone loves puppies, right? Check out these adorable ones...sure to put a giant smile on your face.
What's a "vlog?" Did I hear you ask that?
Well...a vlog is a video blog. And apparently EVERYONE is doing it. A girl's gotta' keep up, you know. So here is my first attempt. Don't laugh. OK, fine. Laugh if you must. Just don't do it loudly enough for me to hear. It may hurt my feelings.
For my maiden voyage into the big sea of vlogging, I'm showing off our very first vegetable garden. We planted it in a plastic kiddie wading pool. Fabulous, right? You can read all the instructions HERE.
Anyway, I put on my "vlog voice" and pressed record. Have fun. And yes, I really am just that excited about my baby lettuce. Truly.
Yesterday was an eventful day for me. The short version is that I am severely anemic...enough that I'm having heart arrhythmias and some other scary symptoms. I have very little energy. Yeah, try explaining that to three four-year-olds. They bounce off the walls regardless of how mommy feels. We all know stay-at-home-mommies do not get sick days.
But we do get some awfully special care. Sweet Pea came and snuggled up next to me in bed during the night. Her reason? "Pecause I needed to make sure you were OK, Mommy."
I see my doctor for follow-up tomorrow. But until then? I'm in good hands. Sweet, small, slightly sticky hands.
My precious friend for whom I thank God daily (I'm not kidding) brought me a beautifully-wrapped birthday present this afternoon. Inside was a pretty pink/green (I LOVE pink/green) monogrammed water bottle. So sweet! The kids quickly seized the pink and green tissue paper that was in the gift bag.
A few minutes later they all came into the kitchen giggling. They had made "paper flowers" for my "birfday." My favorite part?
Sweet: You can even keep them for always, Mommy!
Snap: Yeah, you can keep mine flowers forever and ever.
Split: You can keep my flowers forever, too. But I need you to give them to me when I'm getting married. OK, Mommy?
Sure, honey. Gosh, I love y'all. And my flowers are just perfect.
